I have been sitting in this coffee shop for the past 2 hours trying to update our stores’ inventories, patiently switching between MS Excel and Teamviewer while listening to Mommy Josie and Miss Reeza talk about a ‘friendzoned’ guy, live on Facebook (talk about multi-tasking). After I realized that I have laughed and participated enough with the advice-giving, I switched my earphones to my current favorite song; “Beauty and the Beast” sung by Ariana and John Legend. It has been playing in my head for the 100th time since I had the song and I don’t know what magic this song has but it makes me happy; genuine kind of happy.
See, I just came from a not-so-great break-up (no break-up is ever great Malen!). I thought I was going to live the love story I have always dreamed of. There were a lot of struggles and heartaches and all these, though at the same time, there were a lot of fun, love and happiness. Nonetheless, it all still ended up. But it’s not all despair because I did learn a lot.
- You need enough amount of heartache to know that you are not in the right relationship. Yes. It’s part of the cycle. You fall in love without knowing if he/she is the right one. You lovingly sacrifice time and effort blindly hoping that everything ends well. Then destiny decides that you are not for each other. Well, it works just like that and sometime you can do nothing about it.
- After you get past the heartache, you realize it’s basically just a lesson you went through. And again, it’s part of the cycle. Learning. You will learn a lot like not giving up everything for love, especially self-respect. You learn that love is a two-way thing where you should also seek for something in return and asking for enough doesn’t jeopardize the essence of ‘unconditional’ love. Because unconditional love is not suppose to kill you inside, instead, it should keep both of you alive. You will learn that loving should not hurt either of you and if it does, then you have to let go of it.
- You realize that you are worth so much more than you thought you do. Remember the red lipstick you wore he said doesn’t look good on you? Or the dress you wore on your date which took hours of decisions but he didn’t bother notice? Or maybe just the excitement of him calling you or dropping by at your place? All these has caused a lot of disappointment just because he doesn’t see you the way he should. Now, you don’t expect anything from anyone anymore. Because you are now the owner of yourself. Because you do things for yourself and not for nobody. And because you know that if it’s true love, then every inch of you should be seen, touched and appreciated. Because you are worth all his stare, praise and effort.
- You get to know that you can do things you though you can’t. Like watching movie or having lunch alone on a Friday afternoon. You realize that you can do the sports you only dreamed of before and that you can go back to doing things you have forgotten for years. You might have been scared of doing them again but letting go will eventually make you recognize the freedom you never thought you needed for so long. This freedom will make you see all the potentials you didn’t knew you have when you were trapped in a love you should have not stayed with at the first place.
- You might stop believing in love. You have to. After all the heartbreaks I had, I still am a proud hopeless romantic. I still am in love with the idea of love. Because we all should, no matter how painful everything had been. One day, there will be someone who will never get tired of staring at you for no reason but love. He will give you silly things just because they remind him of you. He will make you believe that there is someone out there that God has made especially for you. Your soul mate. Your other half. And he, like you, is just waiting to be found.
I am no pro at writing stuff like this, but this list is from my own experience and I would be very glad to share it especially to people who have been scared to let go of a love that they have been holding on to for a while.
PS. Dear Love, if you are reading this, I wish you happiness in life.